Today was the big day! The ultrasound! I've had one done before, looking for a blood clot in my calf, so I thought I knew what to expect. They told me to drink 32oz of water in the 30 minutes prior to my appointment because my bladder needed to be full for the ultrasound. So I started guzzling h2o from my 64oz mug at the appropriate time.
When I arrived, on time I might add, the ultrasound tech had me push my jeans and super girl panties (not really, well I do have super girl panties but they are a bit too small right now) down to my hips and lie down on the table. She checked the bladder area with the ultrasound and discovered that all that h2o had not made it to the bladder yet. So I had to go back to the waiting room for another 30 minutes. After this wait and then another bladder check she decided everything was good and we could proceed. It was really very pleasant. She just rubbed that ultrasound wand all around my belly checking out the ovaries and whatnot. Other than getting that jelly stuff all over me, it was no problem.
Then the unexpected happened. As she was wiping the goo off my belly and cleaning her ultrasound thingie, she very sweetly said, "OK just go take off your clothes on the bottom half and I'm going to take a quick picture of the inside." Yeah an ultrasound from the inside. You know what that means right? I have been probed! And not in the good way either. She totally went there. She broke out a different ultrasound wand, I'm sure you can imagine the shape since you know where she put it to get pictures of the inside!
I was totally not expecting to have 'that kind' of exam. And apparently she couldn't see the ovary on the left and had to call in a second pair of hands to come press on my gut over said ovary to smash it down where her magic wand could see it!
So here I am, laid out in the most glamorous of poses, i.e. feet in the stirrups and butt scooched all the way down to the end of the table. Ladies you know what I mean! With two ladies at the stirrup end of the table, one of which is knuckles deep in the hooha!
All I could think was, "Please don't fart. Please don't fart. Please don't fart." With the pressure that nurse was putting on me pressing on that ovary, farting was a distinct possibility.
The ultrasound tech was apologizing for it taking so long and the other nurse was saying that she was sorry if she was hurting me with the pressure. So I told them that they were fine, my biggest concern right now was not farting. They both burst out laughing and said it happens all the time but they had never had anyone be so forthright about it. I said, " Well, I don't see any point in being all delicate about it. Cause, seriously, ya'll are all up in my business down there!" So we all had a good laugh and they finished up.
That was that and I got dressed. Now the wait for the results! I'll update when I know something.
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